Ohisashiburi~
Been a long time since I wrote my mind over this blog.
Recently, my life's changing. Finally, I can overcome my fear towards NSDC. I'm in 24 best speaker. Thanks God for Your blessing :')
So--well, in this time--I won't talk about NSDC tho..
Something recently bother me--like hell :|
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Err--so, here's the thing.
My feelings towards Noir is still lingering CLEARLY. Like hell--even if I'm trying to forget him, every aspect of places always successfully reminding me about him :'|
It's like, automatically, wherever I go, I'll actually remember that those places are related to him and suddenly makes me galau all over again. Devil circle, nuff said.
W-well, also my fault to suddenly try to get in touch with him--again. Darn it! He's trying his best to forget me, why do I even bother him .____.
I feel like--being so cruel towards him. But I can't help it. My sanity lose towards my selfishness .____.
So--after somehow in contact with him for merely 2 days, suddenly, another silent therapy. I know that this is gonna be happened. But why I'm still hurt for it :'( It pisses me off like hell.
Partly, this is my fault. I should give my apologizes right.. ._____. *send message*
Hope this is--right things to do ._______________________________.
ZOMG I'M SO OVERLY GALAU oTL
It'll be a lie if I'm not missing him... I miss him like hell. Terribly X'|
But only to this extend--when he's willing to talk to me is already something really precious for me... Only 1 word from him already enlightening my day.. I might wanting more--but still--in the end, I still can control my feeling to not crossing over the border.. And also still--it makes my day.. X'|
DAKARA!! It hurts when he's talking to others--while I'm in the conversation and being ignored.. Is he bullshitting me with false promises of being friends after break-up X'|
It hurts.. If there's any other word to describe my feeling--being more than hurt, I'll use it. Definitely..
Other things.
Some other days ago--I found the truth that he's being unfriended me.. COOL!!
Successfully makes me like--crying over something not important..
I do REALLY know his reason for doing it. He's trying to forget me of course! I know.. He's trying to not influenced.. I know it.. But still--it hurts.. Then suddenly he request being friend--again. I do feel like--somehow he himself is not certain by his own desicion. My question would be--why? Why bother doing so If you're gonna--like forgetting me.. The 'you' I know recently is someone who doesn't even care whether I'm hurt or not.. Then why you did so.. It makes me confused--and a lil bit gimme false hope. Stupid me for somehow overtaken by it hahahah. Pathetic.
I do childish. Ask many things to be mine. Not really taking others opinion seriously, not really wanted to be lose. Wanting more and more, greedy, lust, pride are overtaken me like hell..
I do demand a question--for you..
Like--seriously.
I need explanation on WHY--you're doing this..
I demand explanation for WHAT about your sweet promises which is already fooling me like successfully about being friend? Set your parameter for us being a friends is looks like what exactly..
You owe me an explanation, Noir.. BUNCH of explanation..
This kind of foggy relationship is harmful for both of us, I know that you're understanding this well..
Just please, can't you just explain it..?
I will--as your requests some times ago--accept your decision. I won't complain..
Just tell me reasons behind all of this things..
